I’m awkward and sarcastic, what a winning combination.
1. Leaving your college dorm will not be the movie moment you expected.
There will be no sepia toned edges as you stare around your empty room and remember everything that has happened to you over the past three years. In reality you will be too busy packing boxes and cleaning stains off the walls to really grasp the weight of the change that is about to take place
2. The reality that the best three years of your life are now over
…will not hit you until some random Tuesday three weeks after you’ve left and you’re walking past a shop and hear a song that you and your friends danced to one night when you were hammered on tequila in some sleazy club.
This once harmless memory will now have you fighting back tears as you blindly stumble through crowds trying to find a safe place to fall apart.
3. Returning to your parents house
…no matter how temporary, will now feel like a once favorite sweater which has inexplicably shrunk and been ripped in odd places and now irritates your skin.
4. You will spend nights going through your contacts looking for some old friends to hang out with
…and no one will be available because whilst you were off getting a degree they were moving on with their lives and the sad truth is that everyone moves on and moves apart.
5. Your family will fail to realize that in your time at college you managed to be a fully functioning human being
…who was capable of living their own life and making their own decisions, no matter how you try to show them this, they will persist in treating you like a 16-year old once again.
6. You will be devastated by the realisation that lying in bed eating cheetos and watching Gilmore Girls is not an acceptable way to spend your day.
7. Despite your ardent determination to not settle for any job that isn’t related to your degree in some way
…you will inevitably end up waiting tables in a local restaurant after you realise getting a job in your degree field is akin to catching a leprechaun.
8. You will be baffled by the fact that most people only go out once a week, and instead prefer to sit in at night and watch Newsnight.
Where the hell did all the two-for-one shot offers go? And why is no one up for “Just one drink”?
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